


Strap On Your Helmet and Let's Go! (bb!chubs and bb!dorkface-- a love story)

by fiddleyoumust



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-31
Updated: 2010-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-14 06:25:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiddleyoumust/pseuds/fiddleyoumust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No Mike Cardens were actually harmed in the writing of this fic. I do not think Spencer is actually chubby. I do think Brendon has stupid hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strap On Your Helmet and Let's Go! (bb!chubs and bb!dorkface-- a love story)

Spencer puts up with a lot of shit on a daily basis from all of his band mates, and Brendon is probably the worst of them all. Spencer remembers three weeks after he met Brendon for the first time, Brendon brought him balloons at a band recital and embarrassed him in front of three quarters of his class. The next year he suggested Spencer take him to prom, just to see Spencer turn red in front of Brent and Ryan.

Brendon's kind of a dick, actually, and if Spencer let every little thing that Brendon does irritate him, he'd long ago have lost his mind. So, it's not a big deal if Spencer has spent the better part of a year mooning and pining and throwing longing looks Brendon's way only to be succinctly and summarily rebuffed on every front. It's fine, really, because Brendon's sort of weird-looking anyway. He's dorky and hyper and irritating, and his hair is so stupid that Spencer is almost embarrassed to be seen with him.

What Spencer is trying to say is that he doesn't care how many people Brendon wants to drunkenly make out with backstage, or blow in the dressing room after a show, or even have inappropriately loud sex with in the back lounge of their bus while his band mates are forced to listen. It doesn't bother Spencer at all. He's totally fine with it.

 

The more Spencer thinks about it -- and admittedly, he thinks about it more than he probably should -- Spencer doesn't actually know how Brendon convinces people to sleep with him in the first place. Sure, _Spencer_ wants to sleep with him, but Spencer is _Spencer_. Spencer still hasn't grown out of his baby fat, and he tells terrible jokes because he knows Brendon will laugh, and he collects shoes he has no intention of ever wearing. He and Brendon are pretty much at the same level of pathetic loser.

It really moves past confusing and on to utterly perplexing when Brendon manages to bag numerous attractive people. There's random techs, and even more random groupies, and possibly half of The Academy Is... Spencer is man enough to admit that The Academy Is... is a collectively attractive band.

It worries Spencer, because he's always assumed that Brendon would eventually wake up and come to the dawning realization that Spencer has a very pathetic, very singular crush on him. In Spencer's fantasies Brendon smiles at him, and they make out for a while, which leads to sex. Sex usually leads to marriage, and by the end of it all he and Brendon are living in a house by the ocean with their adopted child from some war-torn third world country.

Anyway.

The point is, it's really fucking irritating that everywhere Spencer goes these days, Brendon is slutting it up with some new and completely hot person. It's _trying_ , is what it is, but it's something that Spencer is learning to deal with for the most part. If Brendon's fine with leaving their starving and needy love child in its native land without the hope of a loving family... who is Spencer to judge?

 

In fact, Spencer is so well-adjusted about the whole situation that it's somewhat surprising when he suddenly realizes he's going to have to kill Brendon Boyd Urie. He's going to kill him and make Ryan help him hide the body, and if Ryan refuses, Spencer isn't above bringing up that unfortunate summer camp incident when Ryan got a tick in a really inappropriate place. (The subsequent ordeal of getting it off still gives Spencer nightmares. Helping Spencer hide the body of someone as tiny as Brendon isn't too much to ask, because Ryan fucking _owes_ him.)

When Spencer gets on their bus, Brendon is just sitting there with his hair sticking up in a million different directions and his glasses on the tip of his nose. Spencer clenches his jaw hard, because Brendon is not hot like this. He's _not_ , and Spencer is a little bit annoyed at his body for getting turned on.

"Mike Carden?" Spencer says accusingly.

Brendon looks up and blinks. He's chewing on a pen, and there's a _People_ magazine spread out in his lap. Spencer wants to laugh, because only Brendon would actually do the crossword in _People_. Only Brendon would know the answer to 'boyfriend of 54 across', next to a giant picture of Lindsay Lohan.

"What?" Brendon asks. Spencer thinks he looks sleepy. His eyes are a little puffy, and he's got a crease on his cheek, and -- god dammit. It's not cute. It's _not_.

"You're not cute," Spencer says, because he's not. He's an asshole who apparently would rather make out with ugly people than make out with Spencer.

"I'm not?" Brendon asks, and he looks genuinely confused, like that idea had never even crossed his mind.

Spencer glares. "Mike Carden is an uggo, Brendon. I mean, there are seriously better-looking people you could be making out with."

Brendon blinks a couple of times and says, "Oh, really? Like who?"

Spencer opens his mouth, and he wants to say, _Like **me**!!_ , but instead he says, "What about Tom? Tom's hot."

Brendon smiles, and his eyes get a faraway look. "Mmm. Tom _is_ hot, and also an excellent kisser."

Spencer maybe gasps. He also takes a moment to try and remember where the nearest field is. He's still pretty sure he can convince Ryan to help him dump the body so long as Ryan doesn't have to walk too far.

Spencer crosses his arms over his chest and frowns. "What about Jon? Jon's hot."

Brendon wrinkles his nose distastefully and says, "Eww, no. That would be like making out with my brother. We watch Disney together, for fuck's sake."

Spencer suddenly feels a surge of defensiveness on Jon's behalf that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Spencer _also_ watches Disney with Brendon. Jon is totally hotter than god damn Mike Carden any day, and he's definitely not Brendon's brother, no matter what Brendon thinks.

"Jon is totally hot," Spencer says. His voice has that bitchy tone Ryan's always teasing him about, but he can't help it. Brendon is annoying.

Brendon frowns then, tosses his magazine aside and surges off the couch. "Well, if you think he's so amazing, why don't you go make out with him!"

Spencer takes a step forward and says, "Well, maybe I will. You can just go back to kissing ugly people and Tom Conrad and stupid groupies who only want to fuck you because you sing in a band. Also, your hair is so stupid!"

Things deteriorate into something resembling one of those really bad, really melodramatic soap operas after that.

Brendon says, "Sometimes I really hate you!"

Spencer says, "Shut the fuck up. You're such an asshole."

Brendon says, "Why don't you fucking make me?" as he juts his chin out defiantly.

Spencer can practically hear the swell of the music as he strides forward three steps and hauls Brendon against him. He smashes their mouths together hard, and is very pleasantly surprised when Brendon just opens up and lets Spencer's tongue into his mouth. He's not sure what he expects, but the pitiful moan that Brendon lets out isn't something he's going to be complaining about.

Brendon presses closer and sucks on Spencer's tongue until Spencer can't breathe anymore. He yanks his mouth away long enough to gasp in a breath before he crushes their mouths back together. Brendon's hands find their way into Spencer's hair, and Spencer likes the way it feels when Brendon yanks a little, tipping Spencer's head to the side to change the angle of the kiss.

Spencer feels a tug of desire from his stomach to his chest, and he wants more. He wants more lips, more skin, more _Brendon_ , writhing and begging and saying Spencer's name. He picks Brendon up by his hips, his fingers digging into the curve of Brendon's ass, and walks them backward. Brendon's toes drag along the ground, and Brendon groans as he grips Spencer's hair tighter, presses in closer. Spencer is still trying to move them forward toward the couch, but he trips a little over Brendon's feet and sends them both to the carpet in a hard tangle of limbs.

Brendon grunts loudly. "Ow," he says and then he pushes on Spencer's arm ineffectually.

Spencer isn't sure if he's trying to escape or just get on top, but neither option particularly appeals to Spencer. Brendon's been just out of his reach for longer than he really likes to think about, and there's just no way he's letting the little shit get away now when he's got him where he wants him.

Spencer rolls them a little, so that Brendon is firmly underneath him, and then goes back to Brendon's mouth. Brendon doesn't seem to be struggling, which both pleases Spencer and pisses him off at the same time.

"Do you have a list, or something?" Spencer demands, even though it hurts his stomach to stop kissing.

Brendon looks dazed and glassy-eyed, and Spencer thinks his lips look wrong, naked without Spencer's against them. "What?" Brendon asks.

Spencer wants to hit himself because, Jesus fucking Christ. There is a real, live Brendon Urie underneath him, all squirming and willing and _hot_ , and he's stopping to talk about what it all means. He obviously needs a helmet. "A list... Are you, like, going through the entire tour and ticking us off one by one?" Spencer is nothing if not a complete and total idiot.

Brendon's brow wrinkles in confusion, and then his eyes sparkle a little and he says, "God, you're such a fucking idiot."

Spencer can't argue, and he doesn't really want to when Brendon pulls Spencer's head back down and starts kissing him again. Spencer _is_ an idiot, but he's not actually brain-damaged despite all appearances to the contrary, so Spencer kisses him back.

Spencer loses track of time with Brendon's mouth hot against his. He trails his lips over Brendon's chin, down the pale column of his throat. He tongues across Brendon's Adam's apple until Brendon is whimpering and thrusting his hips up off the carpet. Spencer moves to his knees long enough to pull Brendon up and yank his t-shirt up over his head, and Brendon draws his knees up along the outside of Spencer's thighs so that when Spencer lies back down, their cocks are pressed against each other perfectly.

Spencer groans against the hollow of Brendon's throat and kisses the sharp edge of his collarbone as he and Brendon thrust their hips together. The friction feels amazing, even with both of them still in their jeans. Brendon pushes his hips up enthusiastically, and Spencer presses down hard, both of them working their hips until they're both sweating and breathless.

Brendon says, "Spencer, Spencer," and digs his fingers into Spencer's shoulders. Brendon's voice is like hot liquid in Spencer's stomach. He wants to keep him. He's always wanted to keep him, if he's completely honest with himself. Now Spencer has him writhing and calling Spencer's name, and Spencer really, really wants him to stay.

He grabs Brendon's wrists and pushes them up over Brendon's head, pinning them to the carpet. Brendon fights him a little, fisting his hands around nothing, trying to get some kind of purchase. Spencer slides his hands over Brendon's and locks their fingers together.

Spencer's really sweating now, and his stomach and thighs are already starting to burn from the physical exertion. Spencer keeps grinding his hips and works his mouth up Brendon's neck, sucking until it's pink in places, but not hard enough that the marks will last more than a few hours.

Brendon throws his head back suddenly, and then turns his face into Spencer's forearm and bites down hard. He starts shaking, and little grunting noises make their way out of somewhere deep in Brendon's chest. Spencer thinks he looks beautiful, amazing.

"You're so fucking hot," is what he ends up saying, a second before he bites down on Brendon's chest and comes.

 

Spencer does that completely male thing where he actually falls asleep after orgasm. He's not sure how long he's out, but Brendon is starting to squirm underneath him when he comes to.

"You're heavy," Brendon says. His arms are still stretched out over his head where Spencer had them pinned, and even though he could easily untangle his hands from Spencer's useless fingers, he hasn't yet. It makes Spencer's heart beat a little faster.

"Sorry," Spencer says. He rolls over and then bites down into his lip to hide his smile when Brendon rolls with him and settles against his side.

"So," Brendon says slowly, letting the vowel sing song out. "I think maybe you like me."

Spencer feels his cheeks heat. He bites down on the inside of his right one and says, "There are aspects of your personality that I _might_ be attracted to."

Brendon lifts his head and says, "Yeah," around what is probably the biggest, smuggest grin Spencer has ever seen.

Spencer wants to smile back, but he schools his features and says, "I'm not fond of your penchant for making out with everything with a mouth, but otherwise yes. I think maybe I like you."

Brendon rolls his eyes and kisses Spencer's chin and the side of his mouth sloppily. "It's not against the law to pass the time with pretty boys until the boy you've been flirting with for two years stops being stupid and comes to his senses."

"What?" Spencer asks, because Brendon jumps all over him, sure, but Brendon jumps all over _everyone_. It's not exactly like Spencer was made to feel special.

Brendon rolls his eyes. "I asked you to _prom_ , you dumbass. Spencer Smith, you totally broke my fragile seventeen-year-old heart." He flutters his eyelashes dramatically, but there's something in the tone of his voice that tells Spencer he's not really joking.

Spencer feels like kind of an asshole. "I thought you were joking," he says.

Brendon puts his hands on either side of Spencer's face and says, "Yeah, I so wasn't joking."

Spencer lets Brendon pull his face up a little and they kiss, just a soft press of lips, like they're soothing one another with their mouths. "I really like you," Spencer says quietly. "Stop passing the time, okay?"

Brendon says, "I don't know... Tom is a really good kisser." Spencer knows he's kidding, can tell by the sly quirk of his mouth. It makes something warm and sweet spread out from Spencer's belly, because Spencer thinks he's maybe in love with one of his best friends, and it's kind of amazing.

"I hate you so much," Spencer says, punctuating his words with another kiss to Brendon's mouth.

Brendon laughs against his lips and says, "You're a liar, Spencer. You want me so bad."

Spencer does. He really, really does. "I do. I really, really do."

Brendon smiles evilly. Spencer realizes he has no idea what Brendon is going to do next, and that's sort of thrilling too. Spencer likes that Brendon can be both constant and forever changing. Spencer likes pretty much everything about Brendon.

Except for the hair. The hair is still really, really stupid.


End file.
